Late-Night Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

TV's top entertainers used the broadcast mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas song directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "The President ... destroys everything he touches."

The subject was the new initiative which permits overseas individuals to buy U.S. residence for the price of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" version for $5 million. The program's page guarantees approval "faster than ever."

"A brief note for you to affluent applicants: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the scheme is also meant to "extract cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow affluent international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Economic Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval ratings during economic concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to tackle prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.